Purpose of Aging - Developing Your Power Fully
Is It Possible That Aging Is Synonymous With Power rather than Decline?! The Fountain of Youth May Be Within Each of Us!The Interview
RK. After speaking with some colleagues who attended one of your lectures they suggested I contact you to discuss your exciting new concept of life span and aging. How did you become interested in life span and specifically aging?
SD. In the late 70’s I teamed up with a number of people to develop a program called Creative Aging. Our mission was to ‘recreate the image of aging into a positive experience’. We worked with the City of New York, lots of holistic health professionals and hundreds of adults who were interested in making their aging experience more positive. It became clear to me that not only 40, 50, 60 year olds but even people in their 20’s and 30’s felt anxiety about aging. And I said to myself that something is wrong with this picture.
RK. It seems like I am familiar with this picture. It sounds like most people I know, including myself. Did you figure out what is wrong with this picture? We’d love to know.
SD. Yes I did. It is the perspective. The context. The vision. As long as we believe that aging is a process of decline we will ‘conspire’ to make it happen. Jokes about aging. We won’t even consider examples that point in another direction. On the other hand if we believe aging is an ever-ascending arc of reaching our true potential and power that is what we’ll make into our reality. I asked myself, “If aging was a continual growth experience what theory would support this context, this vision?” After working on it for over 30 years I can report to you that my new theory points to this alternative view of aging and it works.
RK. I am 60-something so I am very interested in anything that can make me excited about getting older. How does your theory go beyond established theories of development?
SD. It is clear that a 5 year old can’t do physically what a 10, 15 or a 20 year old can do. As the body develops a human being is capable of doing more and more with it. As one’s physical potential develops the individual’s ability to be more effective in the world increases exponentially bringing with it more satisfaction. The same is true for one’s mental abilities. A 20 year old can’t reason as well as a 30 or 40 year old. As one’s mind develops one’s capacity to reason increases, one gains more control over life bringing with it more satisfaction. Science has decided that only the body and the mind have this potential for development. The only thing that leaves us with is looking forward to decline in these two areas. The scientific view is exactly the vision most people have. Waiting for and resisting the inevitable decline of their body and mind.
RK. Can you site an example of what you believe is science’s view of aging as declining?
SD. With pleasure. The August 2009 issue of the Journal of Gerontology: Psychological Sciences, has an article about research with a group of 70 and 80 year olds. To quote Dr. Yang about seniors’ ability to learn and retain, “This finding was astonishing, we always assumed that seniors would have great difficulty in grasping new concepts and maintaining what they’ve learned.” The fact the she was ‘astonished’ clearly shows the prejudiced thinking. My developmental theory applies to adults in later life, as well as children and younger adults. Present theories say that one’s reasoning ability can develop into ones 40s. At that point the present fields of science stop studying human development. I am convinced that my theory of development is correct and that adults in their 50’s, 60’s, 70’s and 80’s and beyond have the opportunity to continue development. By the way, development is not synonymous with using one’s already developed bodies and minds in order to simply learn new things. I contend, and my 25 years of working with individuals going into their 40’s, 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s strongly indicates, that in fact our journey for developing potential is not over at 20 or 40. I believe there are developmental areas that are neither physical nor mental. When these potential areas are attended to and developed by proper training, just as we develop the physical and mental potential of a human being, one experiences in my view more power as I define it, exponentially more control over his or her life, bringing with it more satisfaction.
RK. What do you mean by ‘aging is synonymous with power’? I don’t feel as though I have become more powerful as I’ve aged. My body feels weaker and I am no longer in a position to influence others like I did when I was in the work place. Doesn’t that say that I am less powerful?
SD. I think that most people as they grow older view themselves as more on the sidelines of society then as the movers and shakers. The vision is to be comfortably retired, attending to one’s own needs, being helpful with grandchildren, and perhaps being active in some cause. Older adults see themselves as physically weaker, less attractive, and hoping that they don’t lose their memory. Drug companies constantly bombard older adults with messages about physical decline, illness, and their adult children think they know everything better then their parents. This is the general view of aging as declining in power, involvement and effectiveness. I believe this is the opposite of what nature intended for human beings to experience.
RK. What did nature intend?
SD. Nature intended for human beings to develop their potential power. Which would lead to them being more involved, more effective, Power is becoming more influential. Power is inspiring others toward the common good.
RK. What has to happen for millions of baby boomers to develop this potential power?
SD. Well, first of all people have to learn about this concept of continued development. Understand that it is in fact a real possibility. They must realize that by developing their potential power they can positively affect loved ones and society. That they can do it better then any other age group. When JFK said we’re going to the moon he created a new possibility of space travel by creating a new vision. Then he made an inspiring speech and a commitment. Once we had this new vision we moved toward it. If the individual doesn’t relinquish the vision of developing their power, he or she will have it…a new power, a totally new experience of aging and its possibilities.
RK. How do people develop this power?
SD. To develop this power each one of us must train to develop 4 areas in which most of us are functioning at a very low level. These areas are: 1. Awareness 2. The ability to bring a vision to everything we do 3. The ability and courage to communicate the vision in an inspiring way, and finally 4. To treat ourselves and others lovingly, and persist with our visions in a patient, encouraging, empathetic, kind, understanding, warm, manner. All these are loving, life sustaining energies that we can consciously generate and give and receive. It starts with developing Awareness: One’s own inner awareness, an awareness of the world surrounding us, the awareness of the inner life of another that requires curiosity and empathy. Vision is about the way we want things to be – not our thoughts about its possibility. People need to be taught to think outside the box of their past experience in order to create a new vision. Communication has to include listening – our biggest weakness – and the courage to speak. But it has to be done without blame because blame causes people to be defensive. Finally we have to learn to be loving and kind and accept nothing less in return.
RK. Final question. Why would the average mature adult, who perhaps doesn’t want to change the world, be interested in investing time to develop their ‘true power’?
SD. I believe that the ultimate happiness for most mature individual’s comes from their relationships with children, grandchildren, siblings, friends, etc. Developing one’s awareness, vision, communication skills, and conscious, loving behavior, ( i.e. one’s power to inspire), will dramatically improve all these relationships. One becomes a powerful role model, respected , listened to and loved, while positively influencing behavior and thereby the happiness of the people one loves.
RK. Now I understand why developing one’s potential power is so important. I am sure others will realize the importance of it, too. Is there a book in your future?
SD. I was invited last year to submit a book proposal to Routledge Press, by Kate Ahl, who was then editor of their philosophy department. Since then a few people, among them Harville Hendrix, developer of Imago Couple’s Therapy and the author of “Getting The Love You Want”, has advised me to write the popular book before I write an academic one. So that is my focus now.
RK. Do you have a publisher?
SD. We’re finishing a few chapters and then we’ll start the submitting process.
RK. Any final thoughts you’d like to share?
SD. First of all, doing things like eating healthy, exercising, meditating will be much more beneficial if they are being done for positive reasons. Because the last stage of life is what one is looking forward to, to become a powerful agent of change. Otherwise there is no joy in it. Trying desperately to slow down the inevitable aging process is work and not fun. The research bent on extending life span and ‘health span’ (living longer in good health) are not going to make people happier if we don’t add to the recipe ‘meaning of life’ – ‘contribution’ – a real reason to live, as opposed to having that reason simply be ‘not being sick, not dying’. Secondly, there is no question in my mind that while science has made life more comfortable and has extended our life expectancy we are not happier human beings. Global warming, global terror, corporate and financial greed, high divorce rates, drugs and drug cartels, competition rather then cooperation. Who do we think are going to be the change agents that are going to make the world a better place? The people who need to step forward are people who have developed or are willing to develop their potential power. They will make a difference. I challenge your readers to think about what I am suggesting. To put on their dancing shoes and waltz through the rest of their life growing and inspiring change. In addition to the ‘Green Revolution’ my vision is for the ‘Sage-ing Revolution’® to happen. I believe we need the second in order to realize the first. We need adults over 50 who are developing their full power and are living the last stage of their life as one great inspiring adventure.
