Brief Therapy / Couple’s Therapy
A MULTI-LAYERED DEVELOPMENTAL APPROACH TO COUPLES’ COUNSELING USES THE BRAIN’S NEUROPLASTICITY TO ACHIEVE PERMANENT RESULTS PRESENTATION SUMMARY1. Couples are taught to begin by focusing their attention on physical signals – a Gestalt method. Couples in distress minimize and numb their pain by avoiding visual contact. This skill helps minimize the disconnect they feel.
2. They then write a vision of what they both want, focusing them on the future – and use the vision as a set of directions. We always operate from vision – which is the set of beliefs we have about any and everything – the only way to begin to change that set of beliefs is to try and create a new set – this work is a process 0 bring up resistance when people consider what feels like ignoring their experiences – like someone never listens and writing – he listens and wants to hear what I have to say – and then it is even harder to consider communicating that – but it is necessary for rewiring the brain – and it is necessary given we want to unconditional beings. We need lists from the website – I am, men are, relationships are (present view) – I am, men are – relationships are (new vision) Typically a "Vision" focuses upon the ideal state, it's worded as though we were there (present tense), the more visual the better, and ideally it's somewhat inspiring.
3. Communication is done through “mirroring” popularized by H. Hendrix, with the addition of contextualizing the communication and bringing in the necessary element of unconditional behavior – “I love you and I know you love me, and I know we hit a rough patch here which we will work out – then issues – feelings – requests - ”.
4.Five simple words, “I know you love me,” expressed to a partner who may have not acknowledged this in years, can empower the individual saying those words to believe that he or she is deserving of the love they need. This has a powerful effect on quickening the healing process.
5. They are taught a new, functional definition of loving, which helps them recognize their conditional behavior and fosters compassion. Since conditional behavior is always painful, a client’s recognition of this fact supports their willingness to bring greater consciousness to their interactions.
6. Each session involves writing, note taking, and an agreed upon assignment to be practiced during the week.
ABSTRACT
A MULTI-LAYERED DEVELOPMENTAL APPROACH TO COUPLES’ COUNSELING THAT USES THE BRAIN’S NEUROPLASTICITY TO ACHIEVE FAST, PERMANENT RESULTSCouples:
• develop their skills of awareness by observing each other;
• create a new positive vision for the relationship;
• use vision as a set of directions,
• communicate by learning 'mirroring',
• reach a new understanding of love that enhances their ability to give and receive love unconditionally
EDUCATIONAL OBJECTIVES
1) To understand the necessity of creating a positive vision for the relationship.
2) How to utilize the tools of awareness and communication to move towards that vision.
3) How to behave more and more in unconditional ways that will support the healing journey.
TRUE/FALSE QUESTIONS1) Understanding why conditional behavior causes another pain helps people behave more unconditionally toward each other.
2) Understanding a couple’s relationship history is more important than having them create a positive vision for their relationship.
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